Thursday morning the phone rings, and I jump as though I have been shot out of a canon. Assuming the 6:08am caller to be my out of town husband giving me a wake up call to get the crew moving, I answer in the most chipper, "of course I'm awake" voice possible. When I perceive the mysterious voice to be that of a woman's, I then wonder, who is in the hospital? Wait... no more of that, right, MOM? Finally, I come to my senses and realize who this person is: the vice principle of my kids' school where I have signed up to be a substitute teacher. A glutton for punishment, I know. Nevermind the fact that I went to bed well after midnight, that I have groceries to buy, and errands to run, and, and ... I said "Sure!" Oh what joys were awaiting me! People should pay good money for opportunities such as this, it was quite a kick of a day.
I began by taking the lunch count and starting in on the schedule before they even said the pledge. A couple kids asked if I ever taught before, thanks kid. On to DOL or DLR or whatever it is they call it. I called it grammar. Then math, I told them all it was my favorite subject to try to instill a little hope in their hearts for this strange new sub. I didn't even know the way to recess, but I'm a quick learner and I think to search out the teacher's pet. She was not hard to find. The first one done with her morning work, the one with impeccable handwriting, well dressed (ie: clean), quiet, and sweet all over. Math went very well, they use Saxon, of which I am familiar. HOWEVER, somewhere along in there, one boy passed a note to another (bigger) boy and "forged" a girl's name on the note (so 5th grade). The bigger boy stood up and yelled out loud "Quiet down!" or something rather close that I don't want my own kids who will be reading this to use on each other. Sub to the rescue! I got them under control for awhile, but on the playground, things escalated between those boys into an actual knockdown dragout. My first day was complete with only 1 suspension, one lost recess, and one kid who thinks I should cut my hair off and give it to "Locks of Love." Hey, at least I know where the bathroom is now.
